Making others happy

I would love to make people around me happy - it makes me happy and satisfied with life. However, recently I learnt a truth or may be I am biased.

The more i try to make other's happy, the more unhappy I become - it is because I am not loving them unconditionally - I expect them to acknowledge my efforts by not troubling me, which doesn't happen fortunately. I would love to make others comfortable and be themselves when I am around but that ends up hurting my godzillian ego and respect, which just makes me all the more frustrated that I did not do my best.

In fact, I have given the bestest of best but the efforts are still yielding minimal results. I would love appreciation and kindness, and not a doubtful look that "why is she being so nice to me - oh gimme a break, she might be acting" or maybe a smirk pasted all over the face that "She cannot be this nice - what is she upto."

Eventually, the basic purpose - "to make others happy" is lost and I end up looking as someone who evokes suspicion 24/7.

My parents have been very nice to others and I really love to follow them - help those in need, make other's feel good about themselves and then derive happiness from that.

However, if others are not happy, I am not happy and I end becoming frustrated and sad and feel that I have not succeeded in making a good relationship. This makes me all the more UNHAPPY.

Am I not supposed to make myself happy and stop going around trying to spread the cheer and get hurt?

So, is there anyone on the face of this earth who is delighted at the very thought of me being with them. Oh yes!! the world is yet is loose all of its goodness - my daughter loves me and she is delighted when I take time for her and do things for her. The happiness I get is so immense - it makes all the worries and frustrations look so tiny and worthless. She encourages me to love others more because the returns I get from her are so terrific and I become more and more selfish to make myself happy by gaining her love and attention.

I do have some great people in my life who love my attention and want my attention and love and care. Ain't am lucky?

Oh! but I can't stop whining about the little attention I don't get - human wants are endless!