2 years of motherhood

Motherhood has been a very exciting and overwhelming experience for me. If anyone asks me now, Sarah is like the light of my life. Now during my stint in motherhood, I came across a series of "pet peeves" - unfortunately I have allowed for them to a certain extent, but now I strongly believe that there are certain areas where anyone who is not part of the child-caring process do not have a say. I am sure that most of the mothers out there, especially in India, have faced such instances, which would have left them bitter or drained. So check them out:

• "You have to do this, so that the baby is this or he/she feels like this: - Whenever you come across someone who starts their conversation like this, first, see if this person has a child. Yes, then you can try giving an ear, but I would not suggest you take that advice unless it makes sense. For instance, when the talking person is your mom or mother-in-law, yeah i agree, you need to respect, but you don't have to listen to useless advice nor implement it for their happiness.
• Superstitious bullcrap - I someone tries to impose their superstitions on baby care, run away from them, stay away from them, unless you are prepared to ignore it effectively without a tinge of stress - dude! this is not the 1950s!!
• Dont allow anyone to abuse you in front of the baby. Stay away. You don't want your child growing up hearing all this nonsense and humiliation and if you think it does not affect the baby, you are absolutely wrong. Well, i am a living example of someone who came out of a hostile home environment. When I look back, I dont feel guilty, but I feel very frustrated regarding what situation I was put into with no fault of mine. It did me good though; I became independent and responsible in life. But it deteriorated a lot of my problem-solving skills and I grew up to become very emotionally frail. So if you are going through abuse, be it emotional or physical, do not expose your child to it - he/she absolutely does not deserves this. You would not want her child looking to her friend's home and thinking why it is not the same in her/his home.

Always remember all babies are unique in their own ways, habits, behavior patterns, etc. Mother still remains the primary caretaker, so no one knows what is best for the baby other than the mother. It is important to educate yourself - I take tips from other mothers, and I Google for home remedies, tips and other information.

The TV sleeps

Sometimes when I see my 2-year daughter understanding or doing things, I feel that I wouldn't have been as smart as her even when I was 4 years. For instance, she loves to watch TV. However, I do not allow her to do that all time. And I switch it off and also the main switch to which the plug is connected. I fool her by telling "TV has to sleep." It worked till last day, till I saw her taking her small chair and switching on the plug to see the TV.

I was surprised that she learnt that TV can be switched on any time. Now the TV will not be allowed to sleep.

Do you need them? Do they need you?

Last day while speaking with my friend, we came across a situation where relatives or "friends" back out from functions that are important to us. The next reaction is we feel sad and surprised that how can they not choose to be part of this event that matters to us?

Fret not! This is that important process of life which filters out the dirt - which refers to the shallow namesake relationships. Consider the following clarifications:

• I am her friend, but I cannot support her when she is in crisis. I have my life. Let her deal with it.
• I am his aunt, but no way I am going for his marriage because he did not invite me the way I am supposed to be.

Let us ask ourselves - Do we need such a friend or aunt? Are they worth keeping for?

Everyone has their own personal choices - some will say: this is family, we need to keep them. Some will reply with an outright "NO, I don't need them."

Personally, I would not want such baggage. Life is too short to be wasted worrying on them. Move on - this does not mean shun them, abuse them, and kick them out. Keep a healthy distance where they cannot take over your emotions - move on emotionally. And trust me, this is the hard part. But it definitely gives you that balance you need to keep with regard to such relationships.