Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Post-partum depression or Discrimination?

Today I was shocked to see a heart-breaking news on Mumbai Mirror that a mother (Deepika Parmar from Dahisar) threw her 1-1/2-month-old baby girl (one of her twins) out of the bathroom window of the hospital. The baby girl did not survive as a rat nibbled half of her head and by the time the security staff found her out, they could not save her even though they rushed her to the ICU.
The mother seemed undisturbed by the entire event and her picture on the newspaper shows a lost expression on her face. I actually didn’t know how to react to this news.
If I think from the mother's side, the mother might have been under post-partum depression and was under lot of stress that she lost her mind and threw one of the babies out.
However, she raised an alarm that the child went missing and when the hospital people checked the CCTV footage, they found out that she herself was culprit who committed this act early morning.
But, I also doubt why she threw the girl baby out. The other twin, who was a boy, is still alive. Both the children were underweight and suffered from breathing problems. Moreover, if she had the mental state to make up a lie, was this action as a result of her hatred to girl child? Did she do it on purpose - kill the girl child and raise a false alarm? Then, she represents that part of the Indian society which discriminates the girl child - Shameful disgrace to womanhood!
I myself have been through the shaky phase of post-partum depression, but it did not last for long, and I came out of it as a stronger human being. From my experience, I remember that when you deliver a baby, the whole ideal indian family comes around choking your head with useless advice and superstitions and you are expected to deal with the trauma of childbirth and postpartum depression singlehandedly. You will be cooking yourself in a deep well of boiling emotions, trying to be the perfect mom you see in advertisements. I dont know how many of the people out there even know that instead of cuddling the baby and shooting void advice to the mentally frail mother, who would even bother to give a pat on her back or offer her help in child care. Sad sad state!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Golden words

I remember some pieces of advice that I have been given at times. Thought of sharing them:

  • When you need help, take it - never feel embarrassed to ask for help.
  • Never stop doing what you are good at.
  • Eat more veggies, less rice.
  • Don't allow your child to run around while she is having her meals. Make her to sit at one place and concentrate on the food.
  • Take life slow. Avoid doing too many things at a time and stressing yourself.

The surprise element

I have been thoroughly enjoying my stint in parenting even though it can be tiring at times. My little darling continues to surprise me every time. It can be a properly pronounced word or an action mimicking others. She loves to see Bollywood dances and tries to sing the songs while moving her little feet and hands. The tiring part of raising her is the mess she creates around with her toys but since I am not a cleanliness freak, I allow her to enjoy her playtime and arrange the house when she sleeps. Surprise can sometimes transform to shocks when she spills the oil can and i walk over it unknowingly. Childproofing seems to be a never-ending process at times.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

A wonderful homemade scrub

Grind Quaker white oats coarsely. Add wheat germ powder and then milk powder; mix these ingredients together and store in an air tight jar. Voila!! - here you have an excellent facial and body scrub when mixed with water or milk and honey. I used it as a scrub for Sarah too, which worked well for her skin - didnt dry it up like soap.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Product review: Scholl Rough Skin remover and Scholl Foot and Nail Cream


These two wonder products have turned out to be the best foot care products I have tried thus far. You can find Scholl products in India at Bata Showrooms. The rough skin remover is actually a scrub with pumice stone articles - very ideal for removing the dry skin from the hard areas of the feet. It is more effective when the foot is already soaked in warm water.
After scrubbing the dry-skin areas, wash the feet and then follow with a small amount of the foot and nail cream. This is a thick moisturiser which keeps the feet moisturised and supple throughout the day. I did not like the strong smell but the results are great and better than any other regular body moisturiser, which most of us usually tend to use for the parched dry feet.
Uses: Best products which I have come across - can be included in your daily foot care regimen
Hmm..: Just the strong smell of the cream
Will you buy this again? Yes Yes!

Product review: Green Leaf Pure Aloe vera Skin gel


I usually prefer the use of natural gel from the plant directly. However, since it is not available every time, this gel has turned out to be very handy for a quick fix. I usually use this product for tired skin or when the facial skin is affected by pollution and break outs. This product improves the skin texture and rejuvenates the skin when left overnight on the skin. It is a very light gel and also very cooling for tired eyes.
Uses: For Skin repair
Hmm..: I cannot find any
Will you buy it again: Yes, I have been a regular user of this gel from 2004. No side effects. I usually do not use it as a day cream but as a balm that soothes facial skin.

Product Review: Body Shop Sweet Lemon Whip Body Lotion



I love lemony fragrance and recently happened to get a bottle of Body Shop Sweet Lemon Whip Body Lotion. The lotion is good for humid weather but for a very dry climate like that in Bangalore, a thicker and creamier lotion is a must. I loved the lemon fresh fragrance but it is not very strong.
Use: a light moisturiser that works well in humid climate - non-sticky.
Hmm: not suitable for winters
Will I buy it again: No because I would rather try some other thicker version from Body shop.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Stay away! Staying alive o o o ooo staying alllliiiveeeee

I have increased the happiness quotient of my life by cutting out rude and mean people - A step that I should have taken long before!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Is this another disaster?

ThenNow
Nandana Sen, who played the role of Rani Mukherjee's Sister in Black, is looking bit weird nowadays. She was one of the fresh faces to hit the industry - now, I feel she has lost her charm - maybe it is aging or makeup, but how can the face structure look different? May be lip injections and cheek implants gone wrong or just weight gain? or yet another case of low self-esteem.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Sharing Happiness and Pain

I recently thought about how my friends deal with their happiness and pain. Do they share it with me. Interestingly, I found out that the concept of sincere friendship sometimes stands as a myth, but then not all the time. Just that the level of sincerity and empathy varies with each relationship and the incidents. Check out the following groups:

1. People who want to share with you their happiness "only." I mean they don't think that worries are worth sharing. Also, they like others craving to be them. So, they keep away the emotional trash which suffocates them within. It is, in fact, a type of "fake positivity" that kind of leaves you depressed.
2. People who want to share their sorrows with you, but are ashamed. They dont want you to think that you are pathetic.
3. People who dont share happiness or sorrows - they think each relationship should be like a business deal. Discuss the specifics of any event if it means something to them, else keep quite. Human Robots, kind of!
4. People who fake empathy - like if you are sad, they act sad (inside they will be overjoyed at your misfortune); or they take your happiness as their happiness (inside, they will be brimming with jealousy).
5. People who genuinely empathise and give you good advice and solutions. They make an honest effort to stand in your shoes and see the picture and try to tell you how they might respond if they faced the particular situation/problem as yours.
6. People who are like rubber bands - they stretch just to fit in a situation for survival, and then be their self only when no one's around or only when they are absolutely sure that they can take the other person for granted by being themselves. Basically, this group of people can socialise well.
7. Sweet-mouths - People who flatter flatter flatter and survive. They flatter in order to get the gossip - they flatter to catch hold of your attention - i mean in most cases, they flatter others and take advantage of their misery/happiness.
8. People who are selective regarding whom to share their problems with. They keep their friends at different levels - such people are good observers.

I guess the list can go on and on - now, which group do I belong to? - I think I am a little bit of everything - complicated!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Product Review: Henko Stain Champion


Finally, a detergent that can make the mom's of school-going kids happy. I have tried almost all other detergent powders in market, but I have not come across something as effective as Henko Stain Champion.

My 1-year old oftens spills a lot of liquids and food stuffs and her dresses and most of the tops that she used in her initial months had a lot of brown, black and yellow stains. She refuses to use a bib; so either I have to remove her top and then feed her or let it be and then feed carefully. However carefully I used to feed her, somehow or the other, the dresses used to get stained.

The difficult part was to wash these stains - when I use a brush, the clothes used to fade with the stain or the stain remained as it is.

Henko came as a great surprise. The water that we get in Mumbai is not that clear - so washing clothes in that water makes the clothes to loose their shine - for instance, light-colored clothes look a bit yellowish and dull. Soaking clothes in Henko for say 30 mins works wonders.

I usually prefer handwashing clothes, especially baby wear, to machine wash - no need to even use a brush, except for collars - otherwise the clothes look rejuvenated and the best part: stubborn stains, like that of turmeric and curries vanish away when the clothes are soaked for an hour.

Rating:4.5/5

Will you buy this again: Yes!!

Product Review: LactoCalamine Aloe moisturiser


This moisturiser did not make my facial skin oily - nor did it dry up the skin - in short I can say it mattified my skin without drying it excessively. So I can use it as an excellent base for my compact. However, lacto calamine does not suit all skin types and excess of the lotion can leave a shiny white layer on the skin and also the medicated smell of clay.
Uses: as a facial mosituriser - but will not suit dry skin; also, you can use it on pimples and rashes
Hmm...: May dry out skin excessively and also the fragrance is bit medicated type
Wows: A good moisturiser that can be used in humid climate, especially places like Mumbai, Kerala

Will I buy it again: Yes, but I won't be using it regularly.

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Product review: Efaderm cream


I have been using Efaderm from around four months for dry skin and also for moisturising Sarah after her bath. This cream is manufactured in India by Galderma laboratories.

Uses: for dry feet, as a baby moisturiser
Hmm...: Might be oily for the face - but still can work as an excellent moisturiser in dry climate
Wows: Skin remains soft and supple; also the list of ingredients are small unlike the regular moisturisers we get in market - so we can assume that it is not harsh on the skin for long-term use

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Movie review: Misery (1990)

Today, I happened to see the movie "Misery" on HBO. Kathy Bates won an Oscar for playing her psycho character Anne Wilkes and I must say that she surely deserves this honor.

Paul Sheldon (James Caan), the famous author of the "Misery" series of books, meets with a car accident during a blizzard and is rescued by a sweet and hospitable nurse Annie, who also happens to be the fan of his Misery series. Eventhough he happens to be suffering from multiple fractures and wounds, she takes care of him, also reminding politely that the road to town is covered with snow and even the phone lines are dead.

She happens to read the manuscript of the last book of his series and finds out that the lead character Misery is dead and buried. Kathy Bates gives a performance of her lifetime as the cold-blooded dragon nurse Annie. She slowly isolates him from the rest the world and refuses to inform anyone that he is still alive, leaving his agent and the local Sheriff to wonder if he is still alive or gone missing.

Most of the story revolves around the isolated impeccably clean house of Annie, where she forces Paul to burn the only existing copy of the manuscript and then start afresh - as she infamously claims "I am your number one fan," she goes through the chapters and makes him take the storyline according to how she wants. In fact, Paul is now writing to keep her happy, and thus staying alive.

If you like horror movies, then "Misery" won't disappoint you. Also, you come across a sow named "Misery" in this movie - and that is her name offscreen too!

Lost and Found


Somewhere I feel I am wrong
Somewhere I feel I am caged
Sometimes I feel like I am hiding from the world
Sometimes I feel that I should run away in fear

I think that I should not move
But...
My lips are frozen
My soul is broken

I know these thoughts are senseless
When I look into her eyes I realise...

Life is not that unfair
Life is not that hard
The light that shines upon me from her eyes
holds me tight and makes me strong

For the love
For the hope and faith
and for all the thousand blessings that you pass to me
You beautiful smile craves for me.

Oh my little one, how could I be so selfish!
I love to be loved by you darling
All the sweet kisses and all the sheer fun
They are so precious that I refuse to melt in the darkness

I refuse to hate life.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Enemies of the Earth

Recently, R agreed to baby sit after he returned from his night shift for almost an hour so that I can go catch up on my exercise, which is quite thoughtful. The gym which I go to is a family gym, and after the recent renovation, a lot of new equipment has been added, especially my favourite - treadmills.

I am not very impressed by the filthy and dirty path I have to walk till the gym. There are a lot of street-side vendors who sell vegetables and after their day's work; they "mercilessly" leave their wastes strewn all over. There is a common garbage dumping container but I don't think most of them bother to dispose their waste there as they have to cross a bridge and then dump the garbage. I feel bad for the municipal workers who have to clean this rotten dirt on a daily basis.

There is a newly paved common bridge from the Railway station that connects to Dombivili East. During early mornings, it is sad to see how dirty it is. Here again, the vendors leave all the rotten spoilt left-over vegetables, fruits and even sacks and plastics.

There are planned and clean places in Thane and Mumbai. But, I believe that Dombivili is becoming unrepairable. No amount of hard work is going to make it look better as long as people think that the earth is their dumping ground.

Am I doing my bit to keep this city clean before looking at what others do? I really want to do more than what I am trying to do now. I feel guilty while getting things in plastic covers from the shops nowadays. So to avoid taking a plastic cover from the shop, I carry a jute bag with me and keep the stuff in that. I still feel that this is not enough - I need to stop all those practices that might harm the earth. We need to stop sleep walking and make this earth a better place to live. At least stop using plastic stuff - that will indeed make a great difference.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Sarah with Pappa

It is difficult to get R to pose for a pic at times. I liked this one eventhough R is bit sleepy. We are in a local train, which is surprisingly empty and on the way to Colaba. Sarah was staring at someone who was entering the train.

Sarah and me

Colaba

Recently, we had been to Colaba. We visited the India gate, Leopold Cafe, Sarkari Bhandar and some street shops on Colaba causeway.

R lost in thought
err... Lost in thought againn

Apple pie!!

Hand Sanitisers and Immunity

In the Indian market, it was not easy to locate a hand sanitiser few years back. Today, common brands like Dettol and Himalaya have come up with their own versions of Hand Sanitisers. I have seen people, especially cleanliness freaks, using hand sanitisers as a full-time solution. They even carry miniature versions along with them in their purse. However, fulltime use of an alcohol-based hand sanitiser might prove that you are not using your common sense when needed. It is just like using a calculator to find out 1+1, when you dont need it to do such a simple calculation.

Then
During our school days, parents would insist us to wash our hands before touching the food after returning from the play ground or school. The is age-old option is the best and nothing can replace this practice.

Next, came the era of anti-bacterial soaps. I prefer to use an anti-bacterial soap on my wounds rather than as a daily-use soap for hand and body wash. However, the handwash bottle at my sink is an anti-bacterial one - which was not intentional. The benefit of using an anti-bacterial soap is that it does kills the harmful germs, but killing the harmful germs is not going to grant you immunity. Contrary to what we think, it decreases the immunity of our body. You need to be exposed to harmful germs to develop immunity against them. I remember my uncle saying that you shuld not drink boiled water all the time; it will hamper your immunity.

I also remember my little cousins coming down from USA and falling sick all the time. So the aboe theory stands correct in such cases. US, being a cleaner and germ-free place when compared to India, is not contributing much to the immunity of people who live there. Maybe they dont realise that as long as they stay there. In short, I must say that coming to India will give people from such cleaner countries a check on immunity :D.

I fell sick continously when I had moved to Mumbai 4 years back. The same theory applies here too - Bangalore being a cleaner place left me with less options to fall sick with contaminated food and water, whereas Mumbai was the other extreme. This also points to the fact that people born and brought up in Mumbai, who thrive on street food, manage to stay fine amidst all sorts of contamination - Rock-solid immunity in a way!

Avoid Overuse
Using hand sanitisers won't boost your immunity nor grant you a disease-free life, but if you have been to public places like malls or theatres, carrying a handsanitiser is useful as it helps in killing harmful viruses and even prevents the spread of it. Moreover, it comes handly when you cannot find water to wash your hands when needed.

Nowadays, hand sanitiser companies are taking advantage of the swine flue scare and other such aliments that can be contracted from public places. But using a hand sanitiser as a full-time option, especially on kids is not advised as it may lead to other side effects. Kids who bite nails or lick their fingers can consume the product and in the long term, it may cause other health problems.

To get the best results, rub a small amount of the product on your hands and allow it to dry completely, and remember, never overuse a handsanitiser. Trust our good old soap and water!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Senseless Censorship

Last night I happened to see the critically acclaimed movie "Rosemary's Baby." I do not like scary movies - the gore, blood, dirty zombies, etc. Surprisingly, this movie did not have much gore to feel nauseated.

Nowadays, most of the films aired in the English movie channels in India are "supercensored". Even the french kisses will show both the parties approaching, and bam!! it is over.

So, there is the infamous dream sequence where a demon rapes Rosemary - it was completely cut. I mean I was not sad that I missed that part, but I couldn't even see the devil. So, it was like both myself and Rosemary were clueless regarding the fate of the child she was carrying till the final scene, the climax.

In this movie, the devil actually arrives from the hell and rapes Rosemary. She is being drugged; so she is not aware of this. However, she dreams of some demon raping her instead. In fact, the entire movie she keeps doubting if her husband and her old neighbors are into witchcraft and are using her. Even we follow the same track of witchcraft till the last scene. But this is like a bigger mess - I mean Witchcraft is less serious a trouble when compared to an association with the DEVIL himself!!!

When the old woman Minnie screams "Look at him - he has his father's eyes" - I guess there were two people who were shocked - one was Rosemary herself and the other one was me. Well this post wont make any sense unless you see this movie on an Indian English movie channel.

What to say - the climax of the movie was doubly shocking - the spawn of Satan himself!!! - and guess what!? they did not show the baby!! - they cut that scene too - I mean do they really show the baby in that movie? If so, who is the great mind that censored this scene??? All other Indian viewers like me, who are seeing this movie for the first time yesterday, might be wondering of what was so damn scary in that thriller.

....In the first place, why did they air this movie?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Leopold Cafe







Recently, R, myself and Sarah visited the famous Leopold Cafe at Colaba. Leopold was also affected by the 26/11 Mumbai bombings. We could still see the bullet marks on the glass windows inside. The ambiance at Leopold is awesome. Food is little overpriced, and you can find more of foreigners here. The walls are adorned with paintings, pictures, collages, etc. You can also take away souvenirs like T-shirts and coffee mugs. The cappuccino and papaya shake were good. Chicken sandwich was bit bland according to R, but I liked this blander version. Overall, the ambiance was the best.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Sarah's day out before Monsoons

Sarah insisting to go behind her Pappa who went to get the orders.
Finally settling on the table.French fries ... yumm..
Slurpp yummm... the ketchup. She kept dipping the fries in the ketchup and then licking it - she stained her dress with ketchup =/.
Slurrp :P
Resting at the Cafe - just for 5 mins she got lost in some thought. Then back to running around.
Insisting Pappa to give her the Caramel blast.
Finally success, but then she stained her dress and I had to change it then and there itself.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I love..

Sarah is about to sleep and Babitha is looking out of the car's window - lost in some happy thought. Everytime I see both of them, I see love and affection.
Miriam is speaking over phone and Sarah is half sleepy at Coffee Day.

Clicked by Miriam at Balmuri Falls.
Sarah again at Coffee Day - all playful! and I love her tomboy look.

Sarah in my lap at the banks of Sangam - She was lost in deep thought.

Both of them were busy speaking about something and not posing at the Steps of Sangam.

Miriam looks stunning in this pic. I love the way the sunlight falls on her tresses.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Ganeshas and Wooden maal

While we got down at Sangam during our one-day trip, we came across many shops selling more of wooden stuff and toys. The quality of such street ware has definitely improved over years. May be the tourists have become more clever buyers than before, which might have forced these sellers to sell and display good stuff. If you know to bargain well, then you can take away some great souvenirs.
Ganeshas, Buddhas, Elephants, lamps and Hanumans - all in stone
Mobile phone holders (which look like cycle rickshaws), Sindoor dabbas, wooden spoons

Wodden baskets and spoons


Wooden Veenas (last row); you can also see Katrina Kaif's pic in one of the photo frames.

Wooden Vintage cars

Masks
Ganeshas again
Wooden Crocodiles


Wooden toys
An enthusiastic seller and his shop.

Yummalicious :P

This was the apple pie that me, Sarah, and the little sparrows feasted on at the Barista Lavazza in Bangaluru Airport. It is absolutely yummy.

I got this pic via a forward today.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Obsessed




Okies, good angles and picasa! :D