Forced socialization

Last day, I was chatting with my childhood buddy and he said that he was sufferring from optic neuritis (weakening of the optic nerve) and he almost lost the eyesight of his left eye. It was quite shocking for me and I sincerely wish that he gets well soon. While speaking to him, i happened to remind him that our old buddy had contacted us on orkut. He replied that he has got enuf of frnds and don't need any more.

In fact, I too felt the same. The people who need me (or vice versa) or my friendship are in touch with me and I don't think I need to pile in more friends or people unless they need me. I am blessed with a group of great and true friends. We fight, we make fun of each other, we scold each other, advise, and we are never jealous - these are "my friends." We love unconditionally and enjoy each other's company. We are genuine with each other. God is great!! because at one point of time when life seemed to stop, they just gave me the strength to move forward.

I like to make fun, say poor and pathethic jokes and some find it repulsive, while some love it. I love humor and being humorous. I am brutally honest when the situation demands. But, I take care that I should not pass a remark that would let someone else down - however, I confess that I am sarcastic at times. It is not necessary that you should like or love me but I hate people who give me a fake hug or a fake remark, which is absolutely irrelavant to the context or my life. I am being genuine in all my relationships - however, I can't expect anyone else to be genuine or sincere back to me but I would expect yu to rather shut up or shout back or hate me rather than to pass a fake flatterring remark.

Now, why I don't like to socialize. I just don't want to create and maintain new relationships. I forget birthdays and I feel sorry when friends complain (cos, I shamelessly accept their wish on my birthday). I am too busy with work and I need my space. However, I like to go to dance in a party. I am not socializing but I am just dancing - there is very little dialog involved. However, going with a bunch for a movie or dinner- err, peel off my skin and rub salt on me - I think I will be able to bear this better. I don't like the entire idea of forced socialization unless I want to socialize or I choose to socialize.

One of my "friends" who claimed be my true friend and well-wisher was busy back stabbing all these years and passing sarcastic and demoralising remarks. It took quite some time for me to just push that person out of my life becos at one point of time, I realised that I am just carrying a tumor with my will. I shuld have just got it operated and thrown out long back. Some years back, when I could forgive for all the damage done, I buzzed that person back just to realize that the person missed me as a good friend (that is a compliment (or flattery) :o). However, as you can't erase a leopard's spots - it is better be careful as its easy to forgive somehow but never forget - they can still backstab!! It is difficult to get a true friend - very difficult. If you are searching for one at your workplace - that is the most difficult - Genuine peole are rare, people who are honest are rare, and people who will empathize with you are rare.

People like to socialize - why? to boast and blah blah and show off !! or are yu going to save the crowd you are socializing with? I just don't understand how a person can have 400-1000 "best friends" on orkut - does it include all the toms, dicks and harrys yu know or just you want to have a friends list to show that you are a scoial bug?

Forced socialization to me is to skin me and slit me and salt me and bottle me and export me to a pond of crocodiles in Sajnekhali complex.