Chuttaman - the super hero!

I met Chuttaman first on the Star one "comedy show HA HA HA" But! sob, sob -- that show is aired no more..

It is 6.30 - am waiting for bus number 42
We are supposed to be in a queue
But, the smart and disciplined people who come late formed the queue
by closing the vents in the existing one...
Hmm...I realised - Mumbai makes people smart enough that they know where to be

The bus arrives..
I tried to catch a seat near the window, in the middle part of the bus
But, the people who entered before me had a fetish for window seats
I got the front seat :(

I waited for the arrival of my tormentor
I had a 100 Rs. note in my hand :(

The bus started in five minutes
I saw him entering from the front door
I was busy thinking how to save myself from some unstoppable blabbering in Marathi
I got a brilliant idea ..I started searching my purse

As expected, he asked "Madam, ticket!"
Since I was busy searching my bag, he moved to the next seat and continued his job

Phew! now what? he will return back
Since there were very less passengers, he returned back in no time.
He repeated "Madam, ticket!"
I handed over the 100 rs note to him and told "Vashi ..Station"

I got the reply "Chutta..... !$%^&**((^&*(&;*^&^)* #$%^&**((###^&*^(@...."
I gave him a dead look
I can't understand Marathi......!!??
I don't have chutta (oh! by the way chutta means change - i should/am supposed to give him the money in change,which is 17 rs)...
I looked at him like "Puss in boots " does...No use at all !!! This won't work outside the world of animation
He continued his incessant !#$%^&*()((&%^%$!#!#!@"
I told him "Chutta nahin hain!"

I felt that I was on the verge of a volcano, which was smoking and was ready to erupt anytime..
As I expected, he continued "Subah subah....!@$#^*&()*_*#$%^&*("
I felt that I spoiled his day - how mean I am?

Do u think Spider man can save me from such a situation?
or Superman?
or Bat man?
or our own Indian made "Shaktimaan"???

NO.... NO... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..............................

Only Chuttaman! he is our only saviour
The only one for the working middle class who travels early in NMMT or BEST buses.

Cutta man is cute, chubby and obese (so much of visceral fat)!!!
His attire is black.
He wears a broad belt designed with so many coins.
He appears when we need chutta.
He can come anywhere.
He is mainly found in the bus stop.
He has a transparent sling bag full of chuttas.
(In fact, he looks like a bus conductor after a drastic make over)

If you want ten 10rs notes for 100 rs, ask the chutta man
If you want hundred 1rs coins for 100 rs, ask him
or even if you want "chillar" for 1000 rs, ask him
He will never disappoint you...

He is the ultimate "Chutta man"
Chuttaman is a superhero with a purpose, not a superhero who saves the world
Alas! he doesn't exist..

I came back from the thoughts of the chubby Chuttaman...
The conductor was seen no where..my ticket?
Suddenly, he came from the back he handed over my ticket and told me something
I understood that what he meant was that he will give the change later
I thought "He could have told this earlier... Chutta is the only way to freak a conductor.."