Monday, August 6, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
RING TONE ROWDY
U can find this species anywhere
at the bus stop
at a cofee shop
at the mall
in the bus
at office or at home
A ringtone rowdy is someone who is fond of ringtones
be it old or latest!
He subscribes for new ringtones everyother day
When he acquires a ringtone, his soul attains the ultimate unexpalinable satisfaction
U can see a ringtone rowdy listening to different ringtones
wherever it be...
In the bus stop his ringtone playing skills are at its peak
He is satisfied when other's get bugged by his ringtones
He keeps altering the volume till he is satisfied by the ear defening output
A day in the life of a typical ringtody (ringtone rowdy)
He gets up late - and catches hold of his mobile
WOW! a new ringtone again..
Its the donkeys cry - he feels that the music tingles his ears
Its time to go to the bus stop
as soon as he reaches there, he opens the pandora's box of ring tones
Ear blasting, worst form of sound pollution.
A beggar looks at him with a sheepish grin.
He plays the donkey's cry (GUWAAAAAAAH GUWAAAAAAAAAAAAAH)
Few street dogs come running behind him.
He runs away for his life
Running and Panting, he reaches a churchthe church service was going on.
Total silence....
Suddenly, his best friend calls him on his mobile
"YEEEEEEEH DOSTIIIIIIII...hum nahinnnnnnnnn chodengeyyyyyyyyy"
All prayerful eyes on him with disgust.
He slips away with embarrassment.
He reaches back home
A call comes for him.. Himesh bhai croons as the ringtone goes.........."ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"
Baby in the cradle wakes up and screams his lungs out...
His mom throws his mobile out...
He goes out and picks the mobile; back to bus stop again!
at the bus stop
at a cofee shop
at the mall
in the bus
at office or at home
A ringtone rowdy is someone who is fond of ringtones
be it old or latest!
He subscribes for new ringtones everyother day
When he acquires a ringtone, his soul attains the ultimate unexpalinable satisfaction
U can see a ringtone rowdy listening to different ringtones
wherever it be...
In the bus stop his ringtone playing skills are at its peak
He is satisfied when other's get bugged by his ringtones
He keeps altering the volume till he is satisfied by the ear defening output
A day in the life of a typical ringtody (ringtone rowdy)
He gets up late - and catches hold of his mobile
WOW! a new ringtone again..
Its the donkeys cry - he feels that the music tingles his ears
Its time to go to the bus stop
as soon as he reaches there, he opens the pandora's box of ring tones
Ear blasting, worst form of sound pollution.
A beggar looks at him with a sheepish grin.
He plays the donkey's cry (GUWAAAAAAAH GUWAAAAAAAAAAAAAH)
Few street dogs come running behind him.
He runs away for his life
Running and Panting, he reaches a churchthe church service was going on.
Total silence....
Suddenly, his best friend calls him on his mobile
"YEEEEEEEH DOSTIIIIIIII...hum nahinnnnnnnnn chodengeyyyyyyyyy"
All prayerful eyes on him with disgust.
He slips away with embarrassment.
He reaches back home
A call comes for him.. Himesh bhai croons as the ringtone goes.........."ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"
Baby in the cradle wakes up and screams his lungs out...
His mom throws his mobile out...
He goes out and picks the mobile; back to bus stop again!
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Die hard 4.0
Welcome to the era of Cyber terrorism! In this movie, we can see the attack on the entire infrastructure of US through Internet, which brings the complete system to a halt on July 4th. Obviously, the demand is money.
This movie is a one of the greatest action flicks starring Bruce Wills. Its great to see him back in action with this movie. To all those action movie lovers, you got to watch this movie because there is only action and action, less dialogues and not even a speck that can bore you.
In this movie you can see the fight between planes and trucks, also cars and helicopters. Overall, a feast for eyes. The climax and fights are real good. Bruce Wills seems to be stronger than Arnold at times because he keeps emerging like a phoenix after every stunt.
Wiseman, the director, has done a great job. The plot is superb and the stunts are great. This movie breathes Bruce Wills and Bruce Wills only. He balances the role of John McClaine, an NYDP detective and protective dad, with ease and valor.
This is one of the greatest action flicks of 2007!!
Rating: 4/5 stars
This movie is a one of the greatest action flicks starring Bruce Wills. Its great to see him back in action with this movie. To all those action movie lovers, you got to watch this movie because there is only action and action, less dialogues and not even a speck that can bore you.
In this movie you can see the fight between planes and trucks, also cars and helicopters. Overall, a feast for eyes. The climax and fights are real good. Bruce Wills seems to be stronger than Arnold at times because he keeps emerging like a phoenix after every stunt.
Wiseman, the director, has done a great job. The plot is superb and the stunts are great. This movie breathes Bruce Wills and Bruce Wills only. He balances the role of John McClaine, an NYDP detective and protective dad, with ease and valor.
This is one of the greatest action flicks of 2007!!
Rating: 4/5 stars
Monsoon special - Home-made Paani poori!!!
Poori:
Rava or semolina - 1 and 1/2 cup
Maida - 1/2 cup
Salt - half tsp
Club soda - half a bottle (I got the pet bottle)
Oil - to deep fry
The Cook's Way Mix the rava, maida and salt evenly and add the club soda and make a semi-thick dough (not so smooth as for chappathis). Add little oil while making the dough. Now, keep the dough aside for 20 mins - cover it with a wet cloth.
Make cigar like rolls of the dough and cut small pieces from them - flatten them evenly using the chappathi roller, but dont make them too thin and also take care not to make the pooris so big!!
Deep fry them and keep dripping hot oil on the top of the puris so that they become cute golden brown spheres. and turn them and its beetr to keep the flame normal so that the oil and puris don't get burnt.
After frying the pooris, spread them on a paper tower to remove the excess oil and then store them in an air-tight container.
Spicy and Yummy Paani:
1. Ready made Paani puri masala (Baadshah or everest) - 2 tbsp
Powdered Jeera - 1 and 1/2 tbsp
2. Gud (Jaggery) - 1 tbsp
Sugar - 1 tsp
Coriander leaves - chopped - 1 cup
Mint leaves - chopped - 1 cup (optional)
Green chillies - 7
Tamarind pulp - 2 tbsps
(In case u are not having the ready made paani poori masala, dont forget to use 1 tbsp black salt (kala namak -very important ingredient) )
The Cook's Way Mix ingredients no.1 in 1 cup of water. Grind ingredients no.2 using a grinder. Now blend both these mixtures and all the remaining water and taste for spiciness. Strain this and keep the filtrate aside, dicard the residue.
Sweet Chutney !!! :P 
1 cup of water
Powdered Jeera - 1 and 1/2 tbsp
Gud (Jaggery) - 1 cup
Powdered Jeera - 1 and 1/2 tbsp
Gud (Jaggery) - 1 cup
Tamarind pulp - 1/2 cup (depends on the "khattaness" u need)
Dates -1 cup (deseeded)
Red Chilli powder -half tsp
The Cook's Way Mix all the ingredients and heat in a deep sauce pan till they melt and reache the desired consistency.
(I loved this chutney - in fact, it was little thick (jammy) and even went well with bread and chappathis)
Other ingredients
Boiled dal (I used a normal thick dal curry for a change)
Boiled black chickpeas - 1 cup - mixed with salt and chopped onion
Boiled potatoes - boiled and chopped finely - mixed with chilly powder and salt
Boiled mung - 1 cup - mixed with salt and chopped onion
Onion - 2 nos - finely chopped
Tomatoes -2 nos - finely chopped
Mint leaves - 1 cup - finely chopped
How to serve Paani pooris:
Crack the top of the poori with yur thumb or spoon and put some dal, mung, onion and i tbsp of paani with a few pieces of potato and gulp it down - and lo!!! a blast of flavours :P
You can try a sweet poori in between by adding sweet chutney :P
Also, use lemon juice as the drink.. A perfect combination!
My verdict: A must try this monsoon!!!
Boiled potatoes - boiled and chopped finely - mixed with chilly powder and salt
Boiled mung - 1 cup - mixed with salt and chopped onion
Onion - 2 nos - finely chopped
Tomatoes -2 nos - finely chopped
Mint leaves - 1 cup - finely chopped
How to serve Paani pooris:
Crack the top of the poori with yur thumb or spoon and put some dal, mung, onion and i tbsp of paani with a few pieces of potato and gulp it down - and lo!!! a blast of flavours :P
You can try a sweet poori in between by adding sweet chutney :P
Also, use lemon juice as the drink.. A perfect combination!
My verdict: A must try this monsoon!!!
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
The Chase
This is a fragment of my sweet childhood memories
My cousin and me; we loved squirrels
We dreamt of keeping a squirrel as a pet some day
Once while playing outside the house, we noticed a squirrel running in haste
And we saw that the squirrel was carrying its baby in its mouth
We decided to chase them (we were cruel minded .... but not now =))
At last we got an opportunity to catch a baby squirrel ... We ran behind the squirrel ...
Some four five plots and hundred trees later, they climbed on a small tree.
All the way, our dog Tommy was following us
And, we both were already tired
Anyhow we started shaking the tree on which the squirrels were present
Suddenly, the baby squirrel fell down
GULP! ....... Suddenly Tommy leaped and caught the squirrel in his mouth
I didn't know what to do :0
I moved swiftly towards the dog and slapped it ... (PHATAAAAK!!!!)
AAAARgh thappoooo!!!!! ....The dog spat back the squirrel on the floor.
Oh no! the head of the squirrel was turned to one side
We thought it was dead..we felt so sad that the squirrel had to go through all this
I saw Tommy running away with his life and he was peeping from the side of a wall
What to do now?
We touched the squirrel
It appeared stiff (Did the stupid dog kill the squirrel????)
Suddenly, it moved its tail.
Phew! it was alive
But the head still remained twisted (handicapped pet .. we would have to live our life with guilt)
We tried to make its head turn back slowly... suddenly, it bit my cousins finger
He started screaming "Ayyo Ayyooooooooooooooooooooo..................."
The squirrel was adamantly hanging from his hand.. :0
He held its head carefully so that it can remove the teeth...
When its grip loosened we tried to put it in the small sack we were carrying
We noticed a change...
WOAAA! its head became normal
The squirrel looked huge
How come? (it is supposed to be a baby....)
Its front teeth was so big and sharp... (err..birk :0) ( or was it a big squirrel with Down's syndrome???)
A series of confused err's and birk's followed????!!!
Then we realised the hard truth...
WE CAUGHT THE MOTHER SQUIRREL :(
We released the Mommy back into the wild...
We couldn't bear the babies cries from some other tree
This was the last time we attempted to catch a squirrel..
The baby cries stopped.. phew! it met its mom :)
We saw some one peeping near a tree.... it was Tommy! :D (peeping tommy :P)
(Tommy was back after recovery from the slap and in action, but hesitant to join us.. SLAPPY BLUES)
My cousin and me; we loved squirrels
We dreamt of keeping a squirrel as a pet some day
Once while playing outside the house, we noticed a squirrel running in haste
And we saw that the squirrel was carrying its baby in its mouth
We decided to chase them (we were cruel minded .... but not now =))
At last we got an opportunity to catch a baby squirrel ... We ran behind the squirrel ...
Some four five plots and hundred trees later, they climbed on a small tree.
All the way, our dog Tommy was following us
And, we both were already tired
Anyhow we started shaking the tree on which the squirrels were present
Suddenly, the baby squirrel fell down
GULP! ....... Suddenly Tommy leaped and caught the squirrel in his mouth
I didn't know what to do :0
I moved swiftly towards the dog and slapped it ... (PHATAAAAK!!!!)
AAAARgh thappoooo!!!!! ....The dog spat back the squirrel on the floor.
Oh no! the head of the squirrel was turned to one side
We thought it was dead..we felt so sad that the squirrel had to go through all this
I saw Tommy running away with his life and he was peeping from the side of a wall
What to do now?
We touched the squirrel
It appeared stiff (Did the stupid dog kill the squirrel????)
Suddenly, it moved its tail.
Phew! it was alive
But the head still remained twisted (handicapped pet .. we would have to live our life with guilt)
We tried to make its head turn back slowly... suddenly, it bit my cousins finger
He started screaming "Ayyo Ayyooooooooooooooooooooo..................."
The squirrel was adamantly hanging from his hand.. :0
He held its head carefully so that it can remove the teeth...
When its grip loosened we tried to put it in the small sack we were carrying
We noticed a change...
WOAAA! its head became normal
The squirrel looked huge
How come? (it is supposed to be a baby....)
Its front teeth was so big and sharp... (err..birk :0) ( or was it a big squirrel with Down's syndrome???)
A series of confused err's and birk's followed????!!!
Then we realised the hard truth...
WE CAUGHT THE MOTHER SQUIRREL :(
We released the Mommy back into the wild...
We couldn't bear the babies cries from some other tree
This was the last time we attempted to catch a squirrel..
The baby cries stopped.. phew! it met its mom :)
We saw some one peeping near a tree.... it was Tommy! :D (peeping tommy :P)
(Tommy was back after recovery from the slap and in action, but hesitant to join us.. SLAPPY BLUES)
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
How to drive a stray baby bat away from your house without killing it?
Please note, this technique applies only for stray "BABY" bats
1. If the baby bat (bb) is hovering in a particular room. Leave the lights on and evacuate the room asap.
2. Never shoot a bat - u may get screwed by PETA
3. Now the bb is harmless, but it doesn't know that its claws (at the end of the wings) are harmful. In case it strikes your eye you will be blind for life.
4. Next, take a big sheet and cover your self - including your head and arms and the lower part of the face. If u have a burkha like outfit - then that will come handy in such a situation!!!
5. Use kitchen gloves - in case, the bat is in the kitchen, u can use a thick polythene bag to cover ur hands.
6. Please use a goggle or glare to protect your eyes.
7. Now use a mosquito net or yet another bed sheet.
8. Open the closed room and enter slowly (take care that u don't panic nor u panic the bb).
9. Stand at the middle of the room and gently spread the net wave it (as u catch butterflies).
10. If wave the net professionally with care, the bb can be caught in 5 mins.
11. Once caught, the bb does not flutter - it can be held within your fist.
12. Slowly, untangle the bat from the net and set it free outside. (Please take care not to strangle or squeeze the bat, bbs are very delicate animals)
Please note that a fully grown bat cannot be captured and freed by this technique. In case, u want to try this with an adult bat, please do at your own risk!
1. If the baby bat (bb) is hovering in a particular room. Leave the lights on and evacuate the room asap.
2. Never shoot a bat - u may get screwed by PETA
3. Now the bb is harmless, but it doesn't know that its claws (at the end of the wings) are harmful. In case it strikes your eye you will be blind for life.
4. Next, take a big sheet and cover your self - including your head and arms and the lower part of the face. If u have a burkha like outfit - then that will come handy in such a situation!!!
5. Use kitchen gloves - in case, the bat is in the kitchen, u can use a thick polythene bag to cover ur hands.
6. Please use a goggle or glare to protect your eyes.
7. Now use a mosquito net or yet another bed sheet.
8. Open the closed room and enter slowly (take care that u don't panic nor u panic the bb).
9. Stand at the middle of the room and gently spread the net wave it (as u catch butterflies).
10. If wave the net professionally with care, the bb can be caught in 5 mins.
11. Once caught, the bb does not flutter - it can be held within your fist.
12. Slowly, untangle the bat from the net and set it free outside. (Please take care not to strangle or squeeze the bat, bbs are very delicate animals)
Please note that a fully grown bat cannot be captured and freed by this technique. In case, u want to try this with an adult bat, please do at your own risk!
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Chuttaman - the super hero!
I met Chuttaman first on the Star one "comedy show HA HA HA" But! sob, sob -- that show is aired no more..
It is 6.30 - am waiting for bus number 42
We are supposed to be in a queue
But, the smart and disciplined people who come late formed the queue
by closing the vents in the existing one...
Hmm...I realised - Mumbai makes people smart enough that they know where to be
The bus arrives..
I tried to catch a seat near the window, in the middle part of the bus
But, the people who entered before me had a fetish for window seats
I got the front seat :(
I waited for the arrival of my tormentor
I had a 100 Rs. note in my hand :(
The bus started in five minutes
I saw him entering from the front door
I was busy thinking how to save myself from some unstoppable blabbering in Marathi
I got a brilliant idea ..I started searching my purse
As expected, he asked "Madam, ticket!"
Since I was busy searching my bag, he moved to the next seat and continued his job
Phew! now what? he will return back
Since there were very less passengers, he returned back in no time.
He repeated "Madam, ticket!"
I handed over the 100 rs note to him and told "Vashi ..Station"
I got the reply "Chutta..... !$%^&**((^&*(&;*^&^)* #$%^&**((###^&*^(@...."
I gave him a dead look
I can't understand Marathi......!!??
I don't have chutta (oh! by the way chutta means change - i should/am supposed to give him the money in change,which is 17 rs)...
I looked at him like "Puss in boots " does...No use at all !!! This won't work outside the world of animation
He continued his incessant !#$%^&*()((&%^%$!#!#!@"
I told him "Chutta nahin hain!"
I felt that I was on the verge of a volcano, which was smoking and was ready to erupt anytime..
As I expected, he continued "Subah subah....!@$#^*&()*_*#$%^&*("
I felt that I spoiled his day - how mean I am?
Do u think Spider man can save me from such a situation?
or Superman?
or Bat man?
or our own Indian made "Shaktimaan"???
NO.... NO... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..............................
Only Chuttaman! he is our only saviour
The only one for the working middle class who travels early in NMMT or BEST buses.
Cutta man is cute, chubby and obese (so much of visceral fat)!!!
His attire is black.
He wears a broad belt designed with so many coins.
He appears when we need chutta.
He can come anywhere.
He is mainly found in the bus stop.
He has a transparent sling bag full of chuttas.
(In fact, he looks like a bus conductor after a drastic make over)
If you want ten 10rs notes for 100 rs, ask the chutta man
If you want hundred 1rs coins for 100 rs, ask him
or even if you want "chillar" for 1000 rs, ask him
He will never disappoint you...
He is the ultimate "Chutta man"
Chuttaman is a superhero with a purpose, not a superhero who saves the world
Alas! he doesn't exist..
I came back from the thoughts of the chubby Chuttaman...
The conductor was seen no where..my ticket?
Suddenly, he came from the back he handed over my ticket and told me something
I understood that what he meant was that he will give the change later
I thought "He could have told this earlier... Chutta is the only way to freak a conductor.."
It is 6.30 - am waiting for bus number 42
We are supposed to be in a queue
But, the smart and disciplined people who come late formed the queue
by closing the vents in the existing one...
Hmm...I realised - Mumbai makes people smart enough that they know where to be
The bus arrives..
I tried to catch a seat near the window, in the middle part of the bus
But, the people who entered before me had a fetish for window seats
I got the front seat :(
I waited for the arrival of my tormentor
I had a 100 Rs. note in my hand :(
The bus started in five minutes
I saw him entering from the front door
I was busy thinking how to save myself from some unstoppable blabbering in Marathi
I got a brilliant idea ..I started searching my purse
As expected, he asked "Madam, ticket!"
Since I was busy searching my bag, he moved to the next seat and continued his job
Phew! now what? he will return back
Since there were very less passengers, he returned back in no time.
He repeated "Madam, ticket!"
I handed over the 100 rs note to him and told "Vashi ..Station"
I got the reply "Chutta..... !$%^&**((^&*(&;*^&^)* #$%^&**((###^&*^(@...."
I gave him a dead look
I can't understand Marathi......!!??
I don't have chutta (oh! by the way chutta means change - i should/am supposed to give him the money in change,which is 17 rs)...
I looked at him like "Puss in boots " does...No use at all !!! This won't work outside the world of animation
He continued his incessant !#$%^&*()((&%^%$!#!#!@"
I told him "Chutta nahin hain!"
I felt that I was on the verge of a volcano, which was smoking and was ready to erupt anytime..
As I expected, he continued "Subah subah....!@$#^*&()*_*#$%^&*("
I felt that I spoiled his day - how mean I am?
Do u think Spider man can save me from such a situation?
or Superman?
or Bat man?
or our own Indian made "Shaktimaan"???
NO.... NO... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..............................
Only Chuttaman! he is our only saviour
The only one for the working middle class who travels early in NMMT or BEST buses.
Cutta man is cute, chubby and obese (so much of visceral fat)!!!
His attire is black.
He wears a broad belt designed with so many coins.
He appears when we need chutta.
He can come anywhere.
He is mainly found in the bus stop.
He has a transparent sling bag full of chuttas.
(In fact, he looks like a bus conductor after a drastic make over)
If you want ten 10rs notes for 100 rs, ask the chutta man
If you want hundred 1rs coins for 100 rs, ask him
or even if you want "chillar" for 1000 rs, ask him
He will never disappoint you...
He is the ultimate "Chutta man"
Chuttaman is a superhero with a purpose, not a superhero who saves the world
Alas! he doesn't exist..
I came back from the thoughts of the chubby Chuttaman...
The conductor was seen no where..my ticket?
Suddenly, he came from the back he handed over my ticket and told me something
I understood that what he meant was that he will give the change later
I thought "He could have told this earlier... Chutta is the only way to freak a conductor.."
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